One of the most crucial qualities of a leader is self-awareness. You must know your abilities, limitations, and emotional weaknesses to succeed as a leader. Humility and pride can lift you up or destroy your entrepreneurial journey and your life.
I am Gordon Grigg, and my goal is to help people learn from my mistakes as well as from my successes.
I hope that the knowledge and scars I’ve acquired will assist others who aspire to be leaders in successfully dealing with similar issues of humility and pride.
Pride is a Killer Humility is a Winner
Remember that pride is a killer. Humility is a winner. So pride is the ultimate killer—often silent but always fatal! As a leader, it may be effortless to let our achievements, accolades, titles, etc. affect our judgment and cause us to start believing that the situation is all about us.
We can think that it is all about our abilities, networks, skills, and other personal traits. In reality, it isn’t about you, although our contributions as people and leaders are significant in various ways. Unfortunately, I have fallen into this trap. I’ve also seen some leaders lose sight of this and let their egos and pride get in the way of what would have been great accomplishments.
Pride comes in many forms, and they are all terrible.
Being proud is different from feeling proud.
Feeling proud and recognizing your accomplishments and strengths encourages continued good behavior. You become more motivated to succeed.
On the other hand, being overly proud can come across as self-centered and arrogant.
He defined a proud person as one who believes they are worthy of great things. He agreed that people must be aware of their talents and feel confident in themselves, but this self-assurance shouldn’t rise to the level of severe narcissism or lofty ideals. Instead, they can act on their sense of value and strive for success.
We compete with one another far too often. We learned that winners take all. But, unfortunately, most people think that the only way to be successful is to put others down or be better than them.
It is vanity to believe we deserve wonderful things when we do not. However, it is cowardly to believe that we deserve less than we are.
True humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less ~ Rick Warren
Anyone who has participated in a successful team knows the benefits of humility in leadership and teamwork. No matter what your title or position is on a team or in an organization, be humble in your role as a leader. Understand that humility is both an enormous gift and a holy obligation.
Pride and arrogance are best treated with humility, and it may be the only thing that works.
People you serve will understand that it isn’t about you if your focus as a leader is on serving others and ensuring every person you are responsible for feels secure, heard, respected, challenged, and supported.
The best leaders must master the balance between confidence and humility.
Overconfidence makes us ignorant. Nobody enjoys being around a know-it-all. Therefore, it hurts our relationships as well.
Confidence is essential for any entrepreneur. However, if your pride allows it, it can turn into egoism and arrogance.
Humility is no good if it keeps entrepreneurs from promoting their businesses.
The best leaders must master the interaction between the two.
Review your Humility and Pride
Being proud ruins our lives. It produces an exaggerated self that we must protect at all costs. We see all criticism as an attack on us.
Don’t live miserably. Instead, focus on lowering your ego. You won’t need to conflict with others if your identity is not under attack.
Life is not a competition to be won, but rather a journey to be enjoyed. Recognize the positive; resist the need to dominate others.
Without the assistance of others, you could not succeed. Pride has no place when we realize that it’s better to be around friends than rivals.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick fix. It takes time to rethink the connection with our ego, which we spend our entire lives feeding.
Start by considering how pride affects your life.
Recognize the distinction between being and feeling proud. The satisfaction of a task well done is the first. The latter is a warped, exaggerated representation of who you really are.
You can use your pride as a tool for growth. First, see how your pride manifests by testing it. Excessive pride indicates what we need to work on.
Do you have self-confidence issues with a specific trait? For example, do you think you’re more or less than you are? Do you view others as competitors or allies?
“Think: all men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil: the only crime is pride.” – Sophocles
Getting back in touch with what we don’t know helps us control our ego.
Additionally, intellectual humility might aid in overcoming our ego.
Humility is one of the hardest qualities for many of us to cultivate since it requires admitting that you are not always right and do not have all the answers.
Additionally, it fosters self-acceptance, which many of us find difficult.
Try one or more of the following actions to attempt to foster humility:
Spend time listening to others.
Being humble means valuing other people and allowing them to be heard. One of the best ways to start doing this is to take the time to listen to people, find out what they think and value, and let them express themselves.
Don’t forget that you’re just listening to them and responding as a person; you’re not trying to solve their problems or give them answers.
Accept your faults
Accepting your flaws instead of judging yourself for them is a key part of being humble. But, of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to get better. Just do it constructively rather than criticize yourself for your flaws.
Be grateful for what you have.
In other words, stop and “count your blessings” and express gratitude for them. It is simple to fall into a vicious cycle of constantly seeking more.
If you need assistance, ask for it.
Humility is recognizing when we need help and respectfully asking for it.
Request feedback from others
Although leaders may find this important, everyone can benefit from knowing what others think of them. Please take some time to ask others for feedback, preferably anonymously, and make it clear that you value what they have to say. Be open to hearing the suggestions, then express gratitude.
Work on your Humility and Pride with a recognized expert
Now I can think about my life, career, and leadership journeys, as well as my self-awareness, struggles, and victories when it comes to humility and pride. I learn everything about humility and pride from my mistakes. They ruined my life in a short period of time. Don’t let yourself make the same mistakes.
Contact me, and let me share my success tactics with you.
We humans always find people who are like us and love to hang out with those, who have similar interests as ours. And eventually, we accept their qualities and become like them. Even though we do not admit the fact, the people who surround us have a deep influence on our lives. Thus, we should be extremely careful about whom we let into our inner or private circle of life.
Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker once said that we become like the five people we spent the most time with in our entire lives, so we should choose them carefully. It is also inevitable that by spending most of our days time with them, we are surely going to inherit their habits and start behaving as they do. Thus, you should have a keen watch over the people who are around you. It is not always that both of your interests should be at the same pace and match exactly 100%. It’s definitely not so. But what is important is that the people who surround you should be positive, have a positive mindset, makes you happy, encourages you to be better, and you are proud to have them. If the answer to all these questions is no, then you should definitely rethink your decision of being with them. The quality of your life greatly depends on the people with whom you are surrounded. So, you should be very careful while letting people enter your inner circle.
Hang out with people who themselves are successful and encourage you to be the same, who are compassionate about what they do, who enjoy life, those who have some goals & dreams in life and work hard towards accomplishing them, and who have similar life values as you do.
Do we like to be around people who are similar to us?
Well, large-scale research has been done on this topic, proving that we humans connect more with those, who are similar to us. According to psychologists, the reasons for this are complex. Also, understanding the fact is important, that having a lot of common liking between two people and believing that there is a common interest between those two are two different aspects. These two saying are somewhat related to each other but not exactly the same, as assumptions often tend to get wrong. Also initially assuming about someone that we have a lot in common and when actually knowing about each other, you conclude that your wavelengths do not match, it hurts.
Consensual validation- Two people who have the same attitude make each other feel confident about their attitudes toward the world. If you like electro-funk music, someone who has a similar interest will surely connect to you faster. Then both of them will get each other’s acceptance.
Certainty of being liked- If someone has a lot of points in common with us, then he is more likely to like us more and in return, we also like them, if we think so.
Cognitive Evaluation- Cognitive evaluation is a feature where we form expressions about others regarding the information that we have in hand. Through this, we feel a connection with the person and can analyze what qualities are common between the two of us. You also feel positivity about the person as they can match your vibrations. Cognitive Evaluation helps us assume that the other person is exactly like us with somewhat similar positive characteristics.
Self-Expansion Opportunity- According to this theory, you can conclude, that the benefit of acquainting with new people and spending time with them is that you also get to learn various new things, and gain new experiences & knowledge. Even in the true sense, if you connect with someone who is dissimilar to you, then you tend to gain more knowledge, learn new & exciting things, and get to learn about new stuff that you haven’t done before. But as per the research, we humans do not try any unconventional way and interact with people who have similar interests as ours.
Enjoyable & Fun interactions- Psychologically if we think, it is more cool and easy to hang out with those, whom we are quite familiar with and share some common grounds of interest.
How to surround yourself with good people
In the words of Tony Robbins, a famous American author, we all want success. It might be in the field of business, the field of relationships, or the field of finances. But to find fulfillment in all these areas, you need to surround yourself with positive people, who can raise your standards and help you grow and succeed in life. Getting rid of people who impact your life with negativity is really important, as they pull you down.
Proximity is power key, as the people with whom we spend our maximum time, are who we ultimately become. In order to reach new heights of success we need to be surrounded by inspiring and positive people who challenge our inner potential. This process is not easy but trusts me, it is worth it for your bright and better future. Listed below are some points that will assist you in knowing how to be surrounded by positive people.
We all have certain goals in our life so you should be in constant search of such people who share the same ambition as yours and helps you to grow.
Letting go of negative relationships is the best way to stay away from toxicity. Thus, you should look for good people who can change your mindset and help you be yourself.
Identifying positive people who can be a part of your inner circle is extremely important. Positive people are usually smart and hardworking people, who are dreamers and positive thinkers.
In order to accelerate your success, it is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people. For finding someone to connect with you can either join a professional group or connect with a life coach.
I Gordon Grigg, a business consultant and life coach from Nashville, Tennessee hope that this guide has shown you the true meaning of the phrase, ‘Birds of the same feather flock together.’ Through this study, you might have understood that people with the same liking may connect to each other extremely well but it is more important that they should have a positive mindset and leaves a favorable impact on your lives. Relationships are a long-term journey, so we should be very particular in choosing the people who are in the inner circle of life. So, now I hope that you will look deep into the inner circle of your life and filter out all the negative people and try to find and surround yourself with those who give you positivity & motivation to flourish in life.
Sometimes the depth of the wound is way too deep, especially when people whom we trust the most hurt us, or we become victims of a brutal crime, or get harshly bullied. Only the persons who are going through that excruciating pain can understand how badly their inner world is disrupted. The only medicine, to get out of this is forgiveness.
What is forgiveness?
According to psychologists, forgiveness is a consciously taken deliberate decision that helps you relieve the feelings of vengeance and resentment towards those who have hurt us. They have also explained that forgiving someone does not mean that you deny the seriousness of the insult the person has done to you and it also does not mean forgetting or excusing offenses. Though, the act of forgiving can help you reconcile with the person again and also release them from any legal accountabilities.
Experts also say that forgiveness helps the forgiver to be in the best and positive peace of mind, free from any corrosive anger. Are you wondering if having positive feelings in the heart is necessary to forgive the offender? Well, if not the positive feelings, the act of forgiveness helps the sufferer to let go of deep & harsh negative feelings. Forgiveness also helps you to heal and move forward in life. This is all about what science and psychologists say, but now we will learn what Jesus, our God has preached about forgiveness.
God said that forgiveness has been drowned out in this world of noise. He said, that the world around us is full of all kinds of pain, malice, and hatred. We should learn from God, as in Bible, we must have read, how wrongly people used to talk to him, but every time he kept his calm, forgave them, and kept walking in the Holy Spirit.
In Ephesians 4:31-32, it’s mentioned, ”Get rid of all the bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Some Key reasons why you should forgive the unforgivable
It is difficult for our flesh to grasp forgiveness, thus it has become vital for us humans to draw closer to God. Whenever someone hurts, you should keep in the mind the below-mentioned key reasons as to why you should forgive them.
Because God forgave you- This is one of the most obvious reasons that we are already aware of. Our lord, Jesus Christ is full of love; he forgives the sins of his children, whenever they sincerely ask for it. In our everyday prayer too, we say, ”Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Not only we should forgive our sinners because God forgives us, but we should do the act of forgiveness because we love him and have promised to live our lives according to his word.
Because the act of forgiveness frees you from bitterness- To be in peace and to prevent the bitter poison from spreading to your heart, forgiving the person who has hurt us is essential. When you hold grudges against someone and hold back forgiveness, it just opens the door of bitterness, unhappiness, and insecurity, and even barricades the blessings that God wants to shower on you. And if you choose to forgive, then you are leaving the feeling of resentment and anger, and showing faith in him to heal you.
Because if you will take revenge, it will not be justified in the court of God- If you have felt the sting of betrayal from someone and have been hurt extremely harshly, then it’s obvious that a feeling of revenge can revolve around in your mind. Wanting justice for yourself is quite natural, as most people in the world believe in settling scores. But this is not the will of God. In other words, if you take revenge on someone who has hurt you, then in the court of God, it will not be defined as justice. The power of giving punishment lies in his hands only, as he is the eternal power and the lord.
Because Jesus showed us the way- Jesus our lord, our father is the greatest forgiver. In Luke 23:34, it is written, ”Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” That means that when Jesus was falsely accused, arrested, tortured, and crucified, he asked forgiveness from God for his sinners. Jesus has a great heart, he forgave his evildoers, so why can’t we humans forgive someone who has mistreated us?
Because forgiveness is healing to your relationship- It is quite evident, that in our lifetime people around us, say friends, family, spouse, cousins, siblings, and neighbors might do or say such things that could hurt you. That is because no one is perfect in life, everyone is sometimes rude, impolite, mean, selfish, angry, tempted, depressed, or messed up. If we do not forgive their actions, we are likely to hurt ourselves more and grow bitter and resentful towards them. And because of this, our relationship with our loved ones suffers, and if we learn to forgive, the connections tend to heal and grow.
Benefits of granting forgiveness
By granting forgiveness to your wrongdoer, letting go of grudges with him will surely improve your health & peace of mind, along with certain other benefits such as;
Improved mental health
Less stress and anxiety
Lesser symptoms of depression
Optimum blood pressure
Strong immune system
Improved health of the heart
How to move towards the state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It is a practice where you need to have certain guts, to move towards this act of kindness.
Recognizing the value of forgiveness and how it can change your life.
Identifying the importance of getting healed and whom you want to forgive.
Acknowledging your emotions and the harm caused to them. Recognize how those behaviors and emotions affect you in your daily schedule and work towards reducing the grudges.
Forgive the person who has offended you and also release the control that the person had in your life.
Forgiveness means different emotions to different people, but it is an intentional decision of letting go of anger and resentment. You can be highly offended by the actions of someone who has hurt you, by forgiving you are keeping yourself in a good mental state and closer to God. Holding grudges against someone is extremely easy, but forgiving is way too difficult. Thus, Gordon Grigg, a business consultant and life coach from Nashville, Tennessee strongly believes that we should live by the teaching of God and if we consider ourselves as God’s own child then forgiveness should be in our nature.
If you are one of the thousands of entrepreneurs who work 72 hours a week, if you do not have time for family and friends and don’t go on vacation for years, or maybe you went, but spent 90% of your time working instead of being with your family, then this is an issue you should think over and make changes in your attitude and your priorities’ list.
Continue reading this helpful article because it could improve your personal and professional life.
I am Gordon Grigg, and my mission is to share ideas, experiences, and relationships that can make your life and business more successful.
As a starting point, the Truelist, in its article, reveals depressing results about people taking a vacation in America.
The average paid time off in the US is 10 days a year for private workers. (Zippia)
28 million Americans don’t have any paid vacation or paid holidays. (Zippia)
52% of people have worked during their time off. (Zippia)
What about executives? According to the Korn Ferry Survey, unbelievably, 84 percent of American executives have been postponing vacations in order to work.
On the long run serious burnouts can result among teams, leaders, and even CEOs when this happens.
UC Berkeley study shows that 72 percent of business owners and entrepreneurs have mental health problems directly or indirectly, compared to only 48 percent of non-owners.
And according to Catherine Hartley, an assistant Associate Professor of Psychology at New York University and one of the co-authors in the Nature Neuroscience’s journal study, “people feel happier when they have more variety in their daily routines—when they go to novel places and have a wider array of experiences.”
All of these leads to the following conclusion:
Vacations are Necessary for Entrepreneurs’ Success
In her study, Sabine Sonnentag, an organizational psychology professor in Germany at the University of Mannheim, stated that the inability to step away from work is accompanied by burnout symptoms, which obviously influence productivity and well-being.
She discovers that putting work aside while you’re not working helps us be more robust to stress and more effective and active at work. Even a quick weekend trip can significantly reduce work stress, and extended vacations offer even more relief.
According to her, 64 percent of people report feeling refreshed and excited to return to their job after a vacation. Moreover, it benefits employers and workers equally, especially considering the $224 billion annual cost of an unused vacation to U.S. firms.
A Harvard Business Review article revealed that working fewer hours encourages professionals to use their time more effectively.
Employees in countries with higher vacations’ usage rates are motivated to accomplish a lot more, and tend to work more efficiently. Therefore, more vacations reduce stress and lead to higher productivity in general.
Participants in a Stanford study took a 90-minute walk across either a nature or an urban setting. Rumination (repetitive thinking oriented on the symptoms causing distress), a typical sign of depression and anxiety, was less frequent in those participants who had access to the natural environment compared to those who walked across the urban environment.
So going on vacation should not be considered as a luxury, or a matter of prestige, it is a must-do if you want to be a successful entrepreneur.
Steps you need to take to have a relaxing vacation
To be relaxed on your vacation before you go, check if organizational procedures and protocols are reliable and could continue to function without you. Check your emergency protocols, continuity plan, and communication.
According to Luren Milligan, career advancement coach:
“It’s easy for self-employed people to convince themselves that they can’t get away – that they’ll lose business or clients if they take time off. In all honesty, that’s rarely the case. Three things are needed: Fair notice to current clients, a continuity plan, and an emergency plan. With these in place, solopreneurs can take guilt-free vacations just like salaried employees”.
Predict potential problems
So, try to predict potential problems that can arise so your firm is prepared for your vacation and organize your teamsaccordingly.
Such preparations can show you where your corporate communication lines need to be strengthened, what emergency processes are outdated, and what inefficiencies are holding you back. Find out what you can digitize, remove, or outsource with the help of your team.
Taking a trip will help you remember that, even if your enterprises are vital, it’s good to walk aside from them occasionally. Watch your team excel as you give them more responsibilities. To accomplish this, be sure to personally communicate your faith in your staff members before you depart from the office.
Ensure your employees have the resources and access needed to do their tasks while you’re away
Don’t just provide them with a list of tasks through email. Ensure they have the resources and access needed to do their tasks while you’re away.
For instance, if you assign someone to manage your social media accounts, ensure they have the access and credentials required to post what is required.
Give the folks who will be covering for you a comprehensive cheat sheet. Google Doc with data they would require, such as:
Where to find crucial documents
Notes on policies and procedures
Where to get important project information
Advice that they could find helpful in coping with particular individuals or circumstances
Your employer-employee relationship can take on exciting new dimensions thanks to this trust, including improved communication, more confidence, and more effective delegation and priorities.
And remember to plan your return day right away.
After you return to the office, wait at least a day or two before scheduling any meetings or phone calls. Then, make sure everyone knows those are your catch-up days by marking those dates on your calendar immediately.
A decent rule of thumb is that you need an hour of catch-up time every day you are absent from the office. Thus, after returning after a week of vacation, it takes a full day to assess what happened while you were away and deal with any problems that cropped up.
How long should you have a vacation in a year?
As an entrepreneur, you should take at least four or three weeks off each year. Take at least a week every three-four months to recover and reorganize.
As a result, you can:
1. Declutter Your Mind
No one can work 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Those who say they do so generally aren’t even aware that their efforts can end up being ineffective.
Rest is occasionally necessary for the mind. It allows you to switch off from the stresses of everyday life and refresh your senses. Once you’re back at work, you’ll be able to achieve far more in a shorter amount of time than usual.
2. Take a Body Rest.
You will physically suffer if you work seven days a week. Your early mornings and late evenings will eventually catch up with you and cause various health issues in the future.
However, it will be possible for you to reset your biological clock (and get some extra sleep!) if you go on vacation once every three months.
So, you can reset your biological clock (and get some extra sleep!) if you go on vacation once every three months.
3. Make plans while also appreciating the moment.
A break from work is a terrific opportunity to reflect on your life and be grateful for everything you have.
In addition, the possibility to travel with family, including the spouse and children, reminds us of motivation for hard work and on our future goals.
4. Provide space for your employees and company to succeed
Every step along the way, you, as an entrepreneur, must make decisions. Additionally, you look for advice from the entire team. As a result, the team must become more accountable and perform better when you are absent. So, they will have a shorter learning curve and be able to demonstrate their true worth.
Plan three or four weeks of vacation each year, and you’ll see your business expand if you’re looking for the optimal balance between work and self-care.
Going on vacation is critical for employee performance and productivity. Moreover, it is necessary for an entrepreneur’s survival.
So you know now why you need a vacation and how to prepare to have an excellent time on a break.
But to be a successful entrepreneur, you need a Management Consultant, Life Coach, and Sales Coach. You need professional help. You need me. Visit my site and feel free to call me, text me, or email me. Find me on Facebook or Instagram. Either way, I am excited to hear from you. It all starts with a simple conversation.
It goes without saying that having a strong vocabulary is key in writing. In fact, a well-developed vocabulary can be the difference between a good essay and one that ranks high on Google. In addition, when it comes to speaking, having a strong vocabulary can make you sound intelligent and skilled. In this article, we’ll look at the importance of vocabulary, how to develop a strong one, and some ways to boost your vocabulary.
What exactly is a strong vocabulary
There is no one answer to this question, as everyone has their own definition of what a strong vocabulary means to them. However, some people might define a strong vocabulary as having many words that they can use correctly and effectively. Others might view a strong vocabulary as being able to identify new words quickly and learn new concepts easily. Whatever definition someone uses, it is important to have a strong vocabulary if they want to be able to communicate effectively. By having a wide range of words at their disposal, people are more likely to be able to express themselves accurately and effectively.
Why is vocabulary important?
A well-developed vocabulary helps you to understand complex concepts and to communicate effectively. In addition, a strong vocabulary can make you look smart when reading or writing. Finally, a well-developed vocabulary can make you more successful in your career. We will expand more on these areas in the later part of this article.
Reasons Why a Good Vocabulary is Important
There are many ways to build a strong vocabulary. The most effective approach is reading extensively and using the correct terms when writing or speaking. You can also join discussion forums and participate in online discussions. Finally, it is important to keep learning new words every day.
In today’s world, it is essential to have a strong vocabulary if you want to be successful in any field. In business, communication, academia, etc., having a well-rounded vocabulary can help you reach out to your customers and colleagues more effectively. Here are 12 reasons why having a strong vocabulary is important
1. It Can Help You Communicate More Effectively
A well-rounded vocabulary can help you communicate more effectively with your customers and colleagues. Whether you are speaking in a business setting or writing an academic paper, having a strong vocabulary will allow you to express yourself more clearly and accurately. When you use proper grammar and vocabulary, your listeners will be able to understand you better and may even return your calls or emails.
2. It Can Help You Debate Arguments More Accurately
A strong vocabulary can help you argue more accurately and convincingly in any debate or discussion. A well-rounded vocabulary includes words used in both academic settings and everyday conversation. When you have access to these words, you can engage in complex discussions without difficulty. This will not only impress your opponents but also make it easier for you to reach a resolution or agreement.
3. It Can Help You Advocate For Yourself More Effectively
When advocating for yourself, using correct grammar and vocabulary is essential. A well-rounded vocabulary will allow you to communicate your points more effectively and convincingly. Furthermore, using terms commonly used in a given field can help you build trust with your listener. Ultimately, this will make it easier for them to understand and support your position.
4. It Can Help You Understand Complex Ideas More Easily
By understanding complex ideas, you can avoid common misunderstandings. You can understand complex mathematical concepts or scientific theories with a well-rounded vocabulary. Furthermore, a strong vocabulary can help you comprehend literary works or philosophical texts. By understanding difficult concepts at a deeper level, you can avoid embarrassment or confusion from your listeners.
5. It Can Help You Develop Your Critical Thinking Skills
A good vocabulary can help you develop your critical thinking skills. When you come across difficult concepts or arguments, having a well-rounded vocabulary can help you analyze the situation more clearly. This will not only allow you to make more informed decisions, but it will also improve your critical thinking and problem-solving skills.
6. It Can Help You Express Yourself More Creatively
It is important to use proper grammar and vocabulary when writing or speaking. A well-rounded vocabulary includes words commonly used in a given field or language. When you use these words correctly, you can express yourself more creatively. This can help you generate more innovative ideas or expressions, which can impress your audience.
7. It Can Help You Improved Your Memory Skills
One of the benefits of having a good vocabulary is that it can improve your memory skills. By knowing the definitions of difficult terms, you can better remember information later on. Furthermore, correct grammar and vocabulary will help you build stronger chains of recall. Consequently, this will make it easier for you to retain information during long-term memory exercises
8. It Can Help You Understand Your Fellow Man Better
You will better understand your fellow man when you have a strong vocabulary. This is especially important when it comes to communicating with customers and colleagues. When you can use terms that they are familiar with, you will be able to build a stronger rapport and communicate more effectively.
9. It can Help You Write More Effectively
When you write, having a strong vocabulary can help you convey your ideas more effectively. A well-rounded vocabulary includes words used in academic papers and everyday conversation. When you have access to these words, you can engage in complex discussions without difficulty. This will not only impress your opponents but also make it easier for you to reach a resolution or agreement.
10. It makes it easier for you to communicate complex ideas
A strong vocabulary includes words used in academic papers and everyday conversation. When you have access to these words, you can engage in complex discussions without difficulty. This will not only impress your opponents but also make it easier for you to reach a resolution or agreement.
11. It can also strengthen your credibility as an expert in your field
Furthermore, having a good vocabulary can also strengthen your credibility as an expert in your field. Not only will people believe what you say more easily if you have a well-rounded vocabulary, but they will also respect you for being able to express yourself eloquently. As such, having a strong vocabulary can go a long way toward boosting your career and standing in the community.
12. It helps you build stronger relationships with others
With a strong vocabulary, you can build stronger relationships with others who are important to you. This includes your customers, colleagues, and friends. When you can communicate using terms that they are familiar with, you will be able to build a stronger connection with them. This will help you in the long run as they may be more likely to refer business your way or recommend you for a position.
How to improve your vocabulary
There are many benefits to having a strong vocabulary. It can help your academic and professional pursuits and make you more articulate and confident when speaking. Here are five ways to improve your vocabulary:
1. Practice using new words every day
Using new words every day is a good way to increase your vocabulary. When you encounter a new word, try to use it in a sentence or two the next time you have a chance. This will help you learn the word’s meaning and how to use it correctly.
2. Make sure you use synonyms and antonyms when possible
Use synonyms for words instead of just using the single word itself. This will help build up your comprehension skills, and you’ll be better able to understand what you’re reading or hearing if the author uses complex words with multiple meanings. Using a synonym will help broaden your readers’ understanding of what you’re saying when you have two opposite words.
3. Know the definitions of difficult words
If a word is difficult to understand, look up its definition online or in a dictionary before attempting to use it in conversation or writing. This will not only increase your vocabulary but also make sure that you’re using correct grammar when using difficult words.
4. Use bilingual dictionaries
Suppose you want to learn more than one language. In that case, it’s important to keep both your native English and foreign language dictionaries handy to look up definitions for terms that may be unfamiliar to you in either language context. Bilingual dictionaries can be especially helpful if you want to learn Spanish or French
5. Use context clues to figure out what word someone is looking for
Oftentimes, we know what word someone is trying to say because we’ve heard it before or seen it used in a similar situation. If you don’t know the word someone is looking for, try using synonyms or antonyms that might fit the context better.
6. Use active and passive voice correctly
When writing, it’s important to be clear about who is doing what and whether something is being received passively or actively. For example, if you want to say,”The cat was playing with the mouse,” use the active voice rather than saying,”The cat played with the mouse.” Passive voice can be confusing and hard to understand, so it is important to use it sparingly and only when necessary.
7. Use idiomatic expressions when possible
Idiomatic expressions are unique phrases with different meanings than literal English sentences. For example, the expression “to put a sock in it” means to stop a situation from getting out of hand. When you can, use idiomatic expressions to add flavor and complexity to your words.
8. Make use of online resources
There are numerous websites and apps available that offer interactive exercises designed to help users improve their vocabularies. These tools can be incredibly useful for learning new words and testing how well you know existing words.
9. Take grammar quizzes
Like vocabulary quizzes, grammar quizzes can help you identify areas where you need improvement and focus on correcting them accordingly. This approach is especially useful if you find yourself struggling with grammar rules occasionally
These tips are just a few ways to improve your vocabulary. Use them wisely, and you’ll be on your way to writing more effectively.
A strong vocabulary is essential for any writer, businessperson, or individual looking to succeed. Not only does having a rich vocabulary allow you to express yourself more accurately, but it can also help you stand out from the competition. By learning new words and refining your existing ones, you’ll be able to communicate with greater clarity and accuracy, which in turn will help you succeed in whatever it is that you are trying to do.
Need help improving your vocabulary?
As a seasoned life coach and business consultant, I am able to help people improve their vocabulary to ensure they are able to effectively communicate with others and effectively learn new concepts. Additionally, I am happy to recommend various resources that can help people learn new words and improve their vocabulary skills. You can reach out to me for help improving your vocabulary.
All You Need to Know about Gaslighting, Its Examples, Signs, and Preventive Measures
Introduction to Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a kind of psychological abuse that makes an individual doubt their sanity and rationale. Victims of this malicious abuse often suffer from depression, anxiety, and other psychological diseases.
In this article, I will cover the subject of gaslighting in detail.
The first part of the article covers gaslighting definition and its common types. Later, I will discuss signs of gaslighting that will help you identify this abuse if it happens to you or your loved ones. I have also included some real-life stories of people who faced such manipulation. It will help you understand what gaslighting experience is. The last part includes some useful ways to save yourself from this emotional abuse.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting refers to a psychological manipulation through which the perpetrator controls his victim by twisting their sense of reality. A gaslighter clouds their victim’s reality by consistently presenting a false narrative and denying the actual truth.
In the beginning, the victim knows reality and tries to explain his perception to the abuser. Over time, the person on the receiving end becomes increasingly confused and drowns in self-doubt. He starts feeling that he can’t trust his perception or judgment, and ultimately he becomes dependent on the abuser.
Who is a Gaslighter?
A gaslighter is a person who attempts to gain control over others by making them feel crazy. They induce a sense in their victims that their perception of reality is not only mistaken but baseless and absurd.
They do this by sidestepping evidence that supports the victim’s testimony. This mean activity can be as simple as putting the keys in someone’s purse and insisting they put them themselves. Such incidents will affect the victim’s mental health if they occur repeatedly.
Anyone can do gaslighting, but people with narcissistic or borderline personality disorder normally exhibit this manipulative behavior. They keep playing mind games on their victims until they start questioning their self-worth.
Gaslighting can happen in seemingly perfect romantic relationships, professional work environments, and even to children. No matter what the dynamic of this malicious practice is, there are always some common tactics used to make the other person doubt his sanity.
Here are a few examples of gaslighting tactics:
The gaslighter negates the victim’s memory of past events. Theyinsist that either the victim’s memory is flawed or he is just making up stories on purpose. The person being gaslit is left baffled and confused because he was telling the truth.
2. Pretending to Forget
The gaslighter pretends to have forgotten what happened when the victim brings up an abuse incident.
The perpetrator might verbally abuse the victim and later act as if they don’t remember at all. The victim nervously exclaims, “how can you forget that!” but the abuser stays firm on his ground. They may even take a step further and say something like, if it had happened, I would have remembered that.
3. Dismissing Emotions
This situation involves making the victim feel that his negative emotions, like sadness, fear, or regret, are pointless and absurd. A gaslighter tells the victim that they are too sensitive and over-emotional.
When subjected to this behavior repeatedly, the victim is forced to hide his emotions and suffer in silence.
The abuser blatantly refuses to listen to the victim’s viewpoint when confronted. Sometimes the gaslighter acts like they are caught up in a confusing conversation where nothing makes sense. Thus, implying that the victim is perplexing them on purpose.
The abuser uses this tactic to save themselves from confrontation. Diverting is an attempt to change the subject when the victim brings something up.
They hijack the conversation by stressing over the credibility of what someone is saying rather than the content.
Gaslighting can occur in many different scenarios. Usually, it occurs within a vulnerable group of people or with an individual. Sweet (2019) states that gaslighting techniques often use stereotypes to attack specific vulnerabilities.
A gaslighter will make the victim question his self-worth by making statements like women are irrational, black women are aggressive, etc.
Here are some common types of gaslighting scenarios:
1. Gaslighting in Intimate Relationships
This situation commonly happens in heterosexual relationships where aman gaslights a woman. He uses common gender stereotypes to strengthen his claims about his partner’s sanity. The gaslighter often makes statements like women can’t handle pressure or are irrational.
2. Gaslighting and Gender
Gender-based gaslighting can be seen not only in homes but also in the legal system, healthcare system, and other social scenarios. Some examples of gender-based gaslighting are as follows:
· Gaslighting in Healthcare
Some women are gaslit by doctors who insist they exaggerate or imagine their symptoms. Women coming to the doctor’s office with legitimate symptoms are labeled hypochondriacs because the doctor believes that women are generally irrational and hysterical.
This leads to the worsening of symptoms dismissed by the healthcare professional and ultimately causes extreme complications.
I believe that the modern-day US is far from things like gender bias and stereotypes against women, but the truth is far from that.
· Gaslighting in Legal System
Gender-based gaslighting is commonly seen in sexual assault and child custody cases. The abuser might use gender stereotypes as their testimony against the woman. Police officers and judges often find this testimony credible enough to dismiss a woman.
· Collective Gaslighting
Collective gaslighting occurs when many women fall prey to the gaslight effect because of a statement or opinion of a public figure or media personality. If a celebrity sympathizes with an abuser and sides with him, this will make many people second-guess their stance on the issue at hand.
Cynthia A. Stark, Ph.D., has discussed public gaslighting in her paper, “Gaslighting, Misogyny and Psychological Oppression.” She gave the example of a CNN reporter who tried to put the rapists of a 16-year-old in a good light by talking about their football achievements and academic excellence.
The world has seen political gaslighting at a large scale during the Covid-19 pandemic. Some leaders gave statements declaring the deadly disease to be a conspiracy. Others downplayed the severity of the situation. Some tried to manipulate people’s minds by claiming there were no deaths because of oxygen shortage when the reality was quite the opposite.
Political gaslighters actively confuse and manipulate the masses to establish authority and gain control.
10 Signs of Gaslighting You Must Know to Avoid Miserable Situations
Gaslighting is a dangerous form of emotional abuse. The term gaslighting was first coined in 1940, but this practice has been ruining people’s lives for ages. It is very important to educate oneself about the signs of gaslighting to spot it early on and save yourself from long-lasting damage.
Here are 10 signs of gaslighting you must know.
1. Black Lies
The abuser tells big lies, deliberately misrepresenting the facts to confuse or deceive the victim. You might be shocked to see the absurdity of falsehood they claim to be true.
Since the gaslighters keep insisting that they are right, you would be forced to reconsider your side of the story and make space for theirs.
2. Saving Themselves by Denying the Situation
When confronted, the gaslighters deny everything. They accuse you of blaming them without grounds. This situation is especially common when they make a hurtful comment or say something bad about your dear ones. When you bring up the subject, they will look into your eyes and say you are mistaken.
Statements like, you always forget my words or it’s okay you don’t remember what happened to you, confuse you and leave you disoriented.
If the gaslighter is your partner, you may feel your feelings are denied, rejected, or dismissed whenever you want to tell them how badly you are hurt. They will tell you time and time again that you are oversensitive and you should stop feeling that way.
If you feel scared that they are plotting against you, they will say you imagine things. If you tell them you are sad because of a snarky comment they made about you, they will label you “overly sensitive” or too weak to handle light humor.
A gaslighter can dismiss every negative emotion you feel towards them. If your partner never apologizes for their mistakes and tries to shift the blame on you, it is a big red flag.
A gaslighter doesn’t accept their wrongdoings. Instead, they will do everything in their power to shift the blame to you. A simple example of projection is breaking something accidentally and then insisting that you are the reason for that damage. Sometimes they use an indirect approach and say something like, it is your fault because you placed it there.
If you suspect that your partner is cheating on you, they will respond by saying that you are the one who is cheating. Alternatively, they might accept their mistake but insist it was your fault.
5. They Can’t See You Happy
The goal of a gaslighter is to gain control over you and make you miserable. They will find issues with your lovely things. If you have children who make you feel complete, they will say things like; you don’t get enough time for yourself because of the kids. Slowly and gradually, they will make you think that they are right.
If you tell them that you love your job, they will point out that your salary needs to improve. This other person works half the number of hours and makes more money than you.
6. They Use Confusion as a Control Tactic
A confused person is neither confident nor happy. A gaslighter wants to do the same to you. If you are in a relationship with a gaslighter, he will not leave any opportunity to confuse you. In addition to questioning your memory of past events, the abuser also makes his personality confusing for you.
They will keep you in ambiguity about the status of your relationship. You will need help to conclude the sincerity of your partner.
7. Buttering up
A gaslighter will butter you up before cutting you. As a part of the manipulation game, they shower love and affection, bring gifts, and give nice compliments. This love bombing will make you think they are not that bad. But before you know it, they will start belittling and harassing you.
This pattern will leave you disoriented about the reality of your life partner. The occasional extravagant display of affection also makes you minimize the abusive behavior or make room for it.
8. Altering Your Physical Environment
Altering the physical environment can take a toll on a person’s mental health. Imagine you come back from work and see a big massage chair in the lounge. You use it every day for a week, and one day it disappears. When you ask your partner about it, they say we never had a massage chair. You know for a fact that it was there but had nothing to prove that. Ultimately, you will start thinking that maybe you were so tired that you imagined being in a massage chair every day.
9. Attempting to Destroy Your Credibility
Your partner will express concern about your mental health to your family and friends. They might tell silly stories about your behavior to make their claims more believable. Hence, they will make your loved ones believe that.
They are genuinely concerned about you.
Your words can’t be trusted because your mental health is compromised.
This leaves you in this trap where everyone tells you; your partner is a good person, and you should continue the relationship. Moreover, if you tell your friends about his abusive behavior, they will find it hard to believe you. They will think you have gone crazy and keep making things up.
10. Making you dependent and lonely
The abuser will tell you stories about the people you trust to make you believe they are not sincere with you. They will instill in your mind that the people you hold so close to your heart hate you. This will eventually leave you in a foggy situation where you can’t figure out who can be trusted. They might encourage you to distance yourself from your friends and family. Ultimately, you will get lonelier than ever and stuck with the manipulator.
Worrying Effects of Gaslighting
The following effects of gaslighting will give you a clear understanding of how gaslighting affects your well-being.
1. Immediate Effects
These effects are emotional in nature and do not take a lot of time to appear. The constant denial of the reality of the situation makes you confused and disoriented.
Due to gaslighting tactics, you may lose confidence and seek validation from others. You start questioning your self-worth and have low self-esteem.
Also, you will be seen as perplexed and sad.
One of the biggest effects of gaslighting is hopelessness. Being constantly ridiculed and undermined will result in losing hope in yourself and your relationships.
2. Long-Term Effects:
Over time, this malicious manipulation develops psychological effects. Common long-term effects of gaslighting are:
Her husband would not spare a chance to lie to her. He was so good at lying that she could hardly suspect it. She had no choice but to give him the benefit of the doubt.
He was habitual of teasing and calling her names. In the beginning, she defended him in front of her relatives, saying he was trying to be funny. Later, she realized that he was trying to tear her down.
That gaslighter was such a control freak that he would harm his son to scare his wife. She said her husband was jealous of his son because she loved him so much.
Gaslighting meaning in a relationship is a lot more than infidelity. The wife reported that her husband would cheat on her repeatedly. He strategically distanced her from her family and friends so that he could cheat on her without getting caught. He would treat her nicely whenever he cheated on her to win her trust again. Sadly, he succeeded every single time.
He told her friends that she had lost her mind and could not be trusted. She found out that his family referred to her as “crazy.” After 14 years of manipulation and abuse, she decided to cut ties with her abusive husband.
She moved to the farthest corner of the state with her children. She said it would take her a lot of time to recover. She found that traveling and sightseeing had a therapeutic effect on her. She travels frequently and is working on getting her confidence back.
2) Gaslighting to Cover up Infidelity
Sacha Sinclair was 3 months pregnant when she discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her. She was getting ready for the hospital to get her ultrasound done. This was the first time she would see her baby on the screen, so she was very excited but also a little disappointed because her boyfriend had to go to work at the last minute.
The boyfriend pocket-dialed her accidentally, and she heard his conversation with a colleague. He told him he had been seeing this other woman for a few weeks. He bragged that his girlfriend was clueless about the affair and treated him well.
Sacha was in tears and waited impatiently for her boyfriend to confront him. When she told him about the discourse she had overheard, he denied it completely. He told her that she should seek treatment for her mental condition because she keeps making things up. He said she was probably accusing him of infidelity because she was mad that he couldn’t go to the hospital with her. In fact, the problem was a lot bigger than that.
She reached out to the work colleague the boyfriend was talking to and asked him about the conversation. To her surprise, he denied it too! The gaslighter kept calling her psycho for making things up. She had to get rid of him to find peace.
To force her to continue the relationship with him.
When she discovered he was sleeping with other women, she told him she would divorce him. He called her insane and ruined her image by telling all her friends and family that she was crazy. At that time, they saw a marriage counselor make things work. Julie’s husband told her friends she saw a shrink for her psychological issues.
He played tricks like whispering her wife’s name. Another example is that she sold her car and saw someone driving it. She pointed and said, Look! That’s my car. He tried to confuse her by saying, “You never owned that car. What’s wrong with you?”
He made everyone believe that she was crazy. Thankfully, Julie was strong enough to know that she wasn’t.
Once she met her husband’s business partner at a gathering. He loudly said, “I am so happy to hear you are getting mental health care.” Everyone started staring at her, and she got embarrassed. Once, he whispered in her ear, “If you promise not to divorce me, I will stop telling everyone that you are crazy.”
These examples of gaslighting show how a gaslighter tries to take control of their victim. Julie took a stand for herself and divorced the narcissist as soon as she could. She is glad that she got out of that mess.
This woman was dating a guy who made her feel like a princess. He always had good things to say about her appearance. He complimented her hair and fashion sense and even said he loved her manicure. After a brief period of love-bombing, he started making small jabs at her appearance. He resented her for not making the right changes in her appearance. He suggested that she should lose weight, have a better fashion sense, and wax her body hair. It felt like all of a sudden, nothing was beautiful about her.
She felt like he only looked at her to find flaws. It seemed that he was plotting to lower her self-esteem. Constant criticism impacted her self-worth. She started feeling guilty and insecure.
One day, a mutual friend asked him what he liked about his girlfriend. He pretended to think but had nothing to say. Hence, she decided to cut ties with him.
This man gaslighted his girlfriend, who was paying for all his expenses. She was making a lot less than him but had to pay for everything because he was too stingy. One day, she confronted him, saying that this was unfair. To her surprise, he totally denied that this was the case. He called her ungrateful and accused her of lying.
She was extremely shocked and frustrated and decided to gather evidence to prove him wrong. She began writing down all transactions. A few days later, she confronted him again. He called her crazy again. So she showed him the record she had been keeping. Upon seeing the proof, he immediately tried to change the subject.
How to Prevent Gaslighting? 10 Ways to Counter Gaslighting
These strategies will help you understand how to overcome the effects of gaslighting.
1. Don’t Jump to Conclusions
It takes time to spot gaslighting. It starts slow and reaches a problematic level over time. Just because your partner holds a different view than you doesn’t necessarily mean he is gaslighting you. Sometimes we all avoid certain conversations. It would be unfair to label someone a gaslighter for that.
Before jumping to a conclusion, you must take your time to understand whether you are living with a gaslighter or not. Get a clear understanding of the gaslighting definition and compare it with what you are experiencing.
A simple rule is to focus on what you are feeling and not so much on just their actions. The following feelings are persistent with being gaslit.
Repeatedly second-guessing yourself
Thinking you might be over-sensitive
Feeling guilty and apologizing very often
Feeling like you are losing your past self
Becoming antisocial because you can’t tell people about your situation
2. Keep Your Calm
A person who makes you feel crazy would be happy to see you frustrated and shouting like a maniac. You can handle any situation more effectively if you don’t react immediately. The best way to do this is to move away from the situation, either physically or mentally.
You can go for a walk to move to a different location than the gaslighter. Alternatively, you can do breathing exercises, repeat an affirming mantra or slowly count to 10.
Grounding techniques are effective in clearing your mind. Try grounding yourself with a visualization exercise or an object.
3. Write Things down
Journaling is a great way to have clarity on past and present events. If you write things as they are happening, you will not fall prey to the gaslighter’s mind games.
Review your writings regularly to bring yourself out of the fog your abuser loves to put you in.
This practice will wear-off uncertainty and allow you to communicate with your abuser more confidently.
4. Gather Evidence
The biggest challenge faced by victims of this psychological manipulation is proving that there is abuse. Since the gaslighter tells everyone that their victim is insane, people are less likely to believe you.
You should actively gather the evidence before sharing your story with anyone. Here is what you can do:
Take photos of your bruises if there is physical violence.
Take screenshots of texts and emails.
Note down conversations if you can.
Alternatively, you can record conversations if possible.
5. Take a Stand for Yourself
Tolerance gives confidence to the gaslighter. Send a clear message to your abuser that you will not tolerate belittling comments and ridicule.
Don’t let them cover up by saying it was just for laughs. Ask them what about the joke makes them feel that it is funny. Digging deep this way will make them realize that they can’t mock you.
Speaking up is more effective in the case of workplace gaslighting. They can’t deny making a mean joke that other people have heard. In intimate relations, however, the abuser normally denies making bad comments. Since you are the only witness, they can conveniently come clean.
6. Understand How They Try to Dominate Conversations
A gaslighter tries to confuse you by complicating the conversation. They would try to distract you from the subject by blaming or insulting you. They might try to shift the narrative using a made-up story. If you fully understand their tactics, you will be in a better position to take charge of the conversation and come to an agreement.
You should have a clear understanding of your goals for a particular conversation. Watch out for the manipulative tactics a gaslighter uses to confuse you.
Try to keep the conversation simple. If the conversation gets circular and unfair, it is time to move away from it gracefully.
7. Trust Your Memory
The abuser will try to convince you that you don’t remember things correctly because your memory is bad. Do the same as he does to prevent them from making you feel stupid. They tell a distorted version of a past event and insist it is the truth. In that situation, you can avoid gaslighting by sticking to your version of events.
You can say, “we remember things differently,” if they insist you are wrong.
This strategy will create a situation where both of you have a 50% chance of being wrong. Gaslighters hate this. They want to prove that they are 100% correct and you are completely wrong. This situation can only happen with you distrusting your memory.
8. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is probably not a direct answer for how to stop gaslighting. However, it relaxes the mind and makes you better equipped to deal with negative emotions.
Build a support network by sharing your experience with empathic people. Your support network may have your family, friends, and others who sympathize with you. Research has shown that social support can work wonders in countering gaslighting.
It is very important to tell your loved one the truth about the situation. Otherwise, they might buy the made-up stories told by the gaslighter.
10. Seek Professional Support
The long-term effects of gaslighting ruin your mental health. It is important to resort to therapy before the symptoms worsen. Some people might need a lot of time to get their confidence back.
If you have low self-esteem or trouble trusting your memory, you must see a shrink—some effects of gaslighting need medical intervention, e.g., PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
Gaslighting is an abusive practice that makes a person doubt his sanity. Narcissists commonly exhibit such behavior.
This emotional abuse devastates a person’s confidence, self-esteem, and mental health. Usually, it occurs in intimate relations but is not limited to that. It can also be seen in workplaces, politics, and schools. Gaslighting by parents is also a common instance.
If you feel you are being gaslit, you should immediately take these preventive steps to save yourself.
Importance of Understanding Gaslighting and Life Coaching
Gaslighting is a menace. Therefore, you need to get rid of it. However, you may only counter it effectively with proper counseling. Therefore, consulting a life coach and counselor is one of the essential strategies to counter gaslighting effects. As a professional life coach, I understand the adverse effects of gaslighting on your personality. Therefore, I help my clients relieve gaslighting signs and effects.
Are you facing gaslighting effects from an emotional or psychological abuser?
Let’s have a free consultation to moderate your personality from the itching effects of gaslighting.
Have you ever considered what drives people to act the way they do?
Why do people appreciate attention and status as measures of success and value but disregard self-satisfaction?
What power governs and directs all of our feelings, deeds, levels of happiness, and fates?
Did you know that understanding basic human needs can help you to understand the answers to these questions better?
Back-to-basics living, tiny homes, minimalism, and less-is-more are always to ensure that our basic needs are addressed without being diverted by the flashy things in life. Humans can observe via research and millennia of history that we require fulfillment of some basic human needs for life satisfaction.
We all have these needs simply by being human; they are ontological needs rather than wants. You may achieve your goals and avoid harmful behaviors and habits by being aware of your needs and psychology.
There are categories of needs that make up basic human needs collectively. These needs apply to every person in every culture, generation, and continent. However, how these needs are expressed varies among individuals depending on their phenotypes.
Additionally, satisfaction varies among persons, cultures, and ages. Strong communities were built by strong individuals and made people stronger. Even if the world has changed, basic human needs continue to play the same function.
Why ShouldYou Understand Fundamental Human Needs?
Satisfying our basic needs will lead to success in life. Your ability to become the best version of yourself depends on your ability to comprehend your needs. There is no way to influence or empower anyone or any group than to recognize and deliver their basic human needs.
Meeting human needs is the key to influence. You create a sense of meaning in your life when you meet your fundamental needs. This fulfillment brings enormous advantages of leading a life with depth and significance.
What are Basic Human Needs?
Basic human needs are the motivation behind people’s behavior. And these needs are the desire to lead a healthy and stable life. These needs are necessary for generating typical human conduct and functioning that satisfies the ethical requirements of a good human life. The list of basic needs includes food, water, clothing, and shelter. Numerous contemporary lists affirm fulfilling basic needs, such as food, water, shelter, clothing, education, a peaceful environment, healthcare, and sanitation.
Types of Human Needs
You can differentiate the types of human needs into multiple categories. Here, we have categorized human needs according to Maslow’s theory of human needs.
Fulfilling these lacking demands is essential. It will help prevent negative emotions and results.
Furthermore, Maslow referred to the top needs as growth needs. These needs aren’t a result of deficiency. Instead, these needs come out of the desires we have for growth.
6 Significant and Modern Human Needs
After Maslow’s theory, psychologists, neurologists, and sociologists have been conducting their research on human needs. They have come up with this list of human needs since 1943.
Food is an essential human need. You must understand how to develop, function, and work by utilizing healthy food. Our daily food requirements are nutrients like proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. A strong and healthy personality is a result of eating good food.
Water is a fundamental human need. It enables the proper functioning of the body.
Shelter is one of the most important needs. It protects us from the burning sun, cold weather, rain, snow, and other harms.
The brain needs regular sleep daily for proper body execution and maintenance. Regular sleep reduces stress and increases productivity.
Emotional and Physical Interaction:
Adults need to interact (emotionally or physically) with other people to release specific hormones like oxytocin.
Dopamine is released in the brain when something is novel since it offers the chance to learn and possibility to fail.
When these six needs are satisfied, a person can grow in self-worth, security, belonging, actualization, and other expressions of contentment, as stated by Abraham Maslow.
Abraham Maslow’s Theory: 5 Levels of Human Needs
Social sciences have put great effort into identifying basic human needs. John Burton, Edward L. Deci, Manfred Max-Neef, Frederick Herzberg, Clayton Alderfer, and many others have made great contributions.
Additionally, Abraham Maslow was a prominent American psychologist. In 1943, he introduced the theory of thehierarchy of psychological needs. The theory was named “The Theory of Human Motivation.” This theory suggests that human needs (mentioned below) influence people’s decision-making. Maslow (1954) claimed that the foundation of the human behavioral drive could be divided into five categories:
Finding your occupation, growing personally, and achieving ethical enlightenment are crucial. You may notice this need. These needs fall into the category of self-actualization.
Expanded Hierarchy of Needs
The 7 fundamental human needs are an expanded version of Maslow’s 5 stage version of needs and categories of desires rather than specific needs. It would be best to refer to them as the 7 categories of fundamental human needs.
Certainty: Certainty ensures you can escape suffering and experience pleasure.
Uncertainty: Uncertainty is the desire for novelty and change.
Significance: This need is a sense of being distinctive and significant.
Love: Love is a strong connection of understanding, help, and togetherness. As a result, you will feel attached to someone or something.
Growth: Growth represents an enhancement in knowledge, skill, and understanding domains.
Contribution: This fundamental need refers to the commitment to aiding, supporting, and giving to others.
Nain’s Pyramid of Needs
It is an alternative theory to Maslow’s framework.
Survival Needs – Survival Needs are similar to Maslow’s physiological needs.
Wants – These represent the current desires. However, they became necessities over time due to lifestyle changes.
Practical Survival Needs – These needs are essential for productivity in an office. Therefore, they are also referred to as “office survival needs.”
Desires – Desires are optional for a sustainable lifestyle. They add happiness and value to your life.
Wishes – These are necessities that are not required frequently. You can still be happy without them.
Whims – Whims represent imaginary motivations or courage for something. For instance, you imagine getting a CEO job overnight.
History: Theories of Human Needs in Social Work
The foundational ideas of social work practice, particularly the “life model” of practice, have traditionally been centered on human needs principles. Charlotte Towle, a social worker, was the first to take the issue of human needs seriously. She discussed this in her book “Common Human Needs.”
David Gil’s Contribution to Human Needs
In recent years, David Gil has supported the human needs theory for social work. David Gil presented a hierarchy of human needs that includes:
A sense of security based on fulfilling relationships and jobs.
Theories of Human Need
In recent years, human needs theory in social work and its application have boomed. The earliest formal, intellectually developed theory of human needs was called Theories of Human Need. Political economist Gough and philosopher Doyal developed it. This theory states the hierarchical relationship among:
Basic social needs
Health and autonomy
For a long time, social work theory, practice, and research have included basic human needs. However, human needs have long been a neglected idea. Published social work literature has always highlighted social justice and has included human rights. Whether you agree with Maslow’s theory or not, it sheds light on humans’ various needs.
Most importantly, you can improve your productivity and efficiency by understanding your essential needs.
In this regard, I help my clients to increase their productivity and self-satisfaction by providing valuable insights into their needs.
I am Gordon Grigg – A professional life coach and business consultant. Reach out to me for any queries regarding your needs. I will guide you to increase your life sustainability and business growth via valuable life and business consultancy.
I am a huge fan of documenting, what works and sharing it because I believe that we learn something from one another. Today, I would like to share with you my personal daily routine, how I wake up, work and wind down each day.
It’s no secret that the routine you follow and the activities that you do every day greatly shape your life and your overall happiness. That’s why it’s so important to have a daily routine that works for you.
In this article, I’m going to share with you my daily routine and how it’s helped me to achieve greater levels of productivity, creativity, and focus. I hope that by sharing my routine, it will give you some ideas of how you can create a daily routine that works for you.
So, without further ado, here’s a typical day in the life of me!
Kickstarting My Day at 5 am
I have always been a morning person; I love nothing more than getting up early. It’s no secret that having a daily routine can make you feel more productive and motivated.
For me, my daily routine starts with waking up between 5am and 5.30am. After waking up, I spend some time reading my religious book and doing my devotion.
6.15 am – 7.30 pm
Breakfast / Dropping girls to school
After this, I am on my breakfast table at 6.15 am with my daughters. As we have our breakfast, we indulge in a little chit-chat and then I drop them to school. On the way, I catch up with what’s going on at their school and how they look forward to their day.
Work out / Reading Audible
Working out is important for me for a number of reasons.
First, it helps me to stay physically fit and healthy
Second, it helps me to relieve stress and tension
Third, it helps me to focus and concentrate better
And last, but not least, it helps me to feel good about myself
When I work out, I feel like I can take on anything that comes my way. I feel strong, confident, and capable. I know that I am taking care of my body and my mind, and that is a very good feeling. While working out I like to read Audible.
Working out is an essential part of my life, and I make sure to fit it into my schedule every week. I highly recommend that everyone makes time for a workout, even if it’s just a quick walk around the block. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it!
9.00 am – 11.00 am
Job sites / phone calls / emails
As an entrepreneur, I manage my three companies, Gordon Grigg LLC, The Premier Media Group and The Premier Builder Group. I have to be on my job site, meeting with clients or working on estimates. I spend the morning working hours on projects and deadlines. But even when I’m not working, I’m constantly thinking about new ideas and ways to improve my business. I’m always trying to learn and grow so I can be a better entrepreneur.
11.30 am -1.00 pm
Lunch Meeting / Networking
At 11.30am I take a break for lunch, which lasts till 1 pm. In between I do networking with different contacts and discuss business. My afternoon is spent meeting with clients, brainstorming ideas with my team and working on proposals.
2.15 pm – 3 pm
Pick Up Daughters
I am always happy to pick up my daughters from school. It is a great way to spend time with them and hear about their day. However, there are a few things I always keep in mind when doing so:
First, I make sure to arrive on time. I know they are excited to see me and I don’t want to keep them waiting
Second, I make sure to have a fresh, healthy snack for them. I want them to have something to eat before we head home so they don’t get too hungry
And last, I make sure to ask them about their day. I want to know what they did, what they learned, and what they enjoyed
Picking up my daughters from school is a special time for me. It’s a time when I can bond with them and learn about their day.
3 pm -4 pm
Social media/ Clients calls
At 3 pm every day, I take some time to do social media for my business. This usually involves posting on various platforms, engaging with my followers, and planning future content. I also use this time to answer any customer questions or comments that comes in.
In addition to social media, I also use this time to attend a few client calls. This gives me a chance to check in with my clients, see how they’re doing, and see if there are any updates or new projects that I need to be aware of.
4.00 pm- 5.45 pm
I have some free time for myself. I can do whatever I want for the next hour and a half until dinner time. I know that I should use this time wisely.
No matter what I choose to do with my free time, I make sure that it is something that I enjoy and that I will benefit from.
5.45 pm-6.35 pm
Dinner / Life
Dinner time with family is a great way to catch up on the day’s events and to enjoy some delicious food. But it can also be a time to bond with loved ones and to learn more about each other.
If you’re looking to make the most of your family dinner time, here are a few tips to keep in mind:
First, try to keep the conversation light and positive
Second, focus on the food and the experience of enjoying a meal together
And finally, take the time to truly listen to what your family members have to say
By following these tips, you can make family dinner time a fun and meaningful part of your daily life.
Cardio / Audible / Office Work
I am often asked how I find the time to do my cardio given my busy schedule. The answer is simple: I do my cardio at 9 pm.
This may seem like an odd time to do cardio, but for me, it is the perfect time. I find that I have more energy at night, and so doing my cardio at 9 pm allows me to get a great workout in. Plus, it helps me wind down before bed and gets me ready for a good night’s sleep.
If you are looking for a time to do your cardio, I highly recommend 9pm. It may take some time to get used to, but I think you’ll find that it is the perfect time for a great workout.
I usually do a combination of running and HIIT, and I find that I can push myself harder when I do it at night. Plus, it’s a great way to wind down before bed.
I have recently taken up the audible subscription and have been reading while I do some office work. It is a great way to pass the time and also be productive at the same time. I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for a way to multitask and be efficient with their time. If you’re looking for a way to improve your focus and get through more books, I recommend giving Audible a try.
10.00 pm-10.15 pm
I have been writing in a journal nightly for many years now. I typically write for about 15 minutes before bed. This has become a ritual for me – a way to clear my mind before sleep and to reflect on my day.
I find that journaling helps me to process my thoughts and emotions. It gives me a chance to review my day and to set intentions for the next day.
If you’re thinking about starting a journal, I would encourage you to give it a try. It can be a helpful way to process your thoughts and gain clarity on your experiences.
10.15 pm -11.00 pm
Wife / Talk-time
During this time, I spend time with my wife talking to her. This time is important to me because it allows me to connect with her and catch up on what’s going on in her life. It’s also a time when I can share my own thoughts and feelings with her. This is our regular time to catch up on each other’s day and to talk about anything that might be on our minds. We also use this time to plan our day or week ahead. This time together is important to our relationship and helps us to stay connected. With this I wind down my day and go to sleep between 11.00 pm to12 am.
Identify 10 Negative Signs of a Toxic Relationship That Can Ruin Your Life
Toxic relationships are a prevalent threat to a sustainable lifestyle for humans. Almost 80% of Americans have faced emotional toxicity in their life. This is a huge number. Also, 1 in 3 adults is in a toxic relationship. Therefore, rooting out the signs of a toxic relationship is essential. This way, you can change toxic relationships into satisfying, sustainable, and healthy ones.
What Is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship is the opposite of a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship involves confidence, collaboration, and trust. It results in a happy and comforting lifestyle. On the contrary, a toxic relationship results in disparity, frustration, and displeasure. It involves emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse.
A toxic relationship can be two-sided or one-sided negative behavior. It means you may also be a toxic partner, intentionally or unintentionally. Therefore, it is important to discover the signs of a toxic relationship. Importantly, there is no ideal relationship. Every relationship involves: • Agreement and Disagreement • Love and Hatred • Support and Unrest • Communication and Loneliness
However, the disparity and tension in a healthy relationship aren’t at an extreme level. Happiness, comfort, and love always dominate in the end. Further more, a healthy relationship ends with sacrifice and commitment.
Difference between an Abusive and Toxic Relationship: Here is an interesting question. Why do you want to resolve a toxic relationship? Simply, you need to live a relaxing lifestyle. You want to get rid of constant stress and poor performance. However, you may feel like leaving an unbearable relationship. This stage is the boundary between a toxic and abusive relationship. An abusive relationship refers to an extreme level of toxicity. It involves extreme emotional, sexual and physical violence. At one point, you want to reset your toxic relationship. On the other side, you need to leave a relationship. That’s an abusive relationship. Therefore, don’t tolerate an abusive relationship. It is better to leave that relationship.
10 Signs You are in a Toxic Relationship
In this article, you will understand 10 signs of a toxic relationship. Read these signs of a toxic relationship to analyze your relationship status.
1. Lack of Love and Respect: The earliest sign of a toxic relationship is a lack of love and respect. In a toxic relationship, parents, couples, friends, and spouses don’t like to spend time with each other. There is no mutual bond. As a result, a partner doesn’t value his partner’s time.
2. Lack of Support and Communication: Another sign of a toxic relationship is a lack of mutual support, love, and support. These qualities are only seen in a healthy relationship. Hence, you won’t witness any encouragement and support. Additionally, you feel yourself in the sense of competition and weak communication.
Due to ineffective communication, there is an exchange of hard words. You may not express your opinions and thoughts openly. Hence, ineffective communication in a toxic relationship results in biased and unjustified judgments.
3. Financial Disputes: A family or a relationship always involves financial terms. A healthy relationship has a balanced financial system. Therefore, you don’t experience any financial disputes in a healthy relationship.
In contrast, a toxic relationship reflects disputes over financial partnerships and saving options. As a result, you don’t see any agreement or settlement. There are financial disputes frequently.
4. Stress and Anxiety: Stress and anxiety are part of life. However, constant stress and anxiety may be signs of a toxic relationship. If you are experiencing stress and anxiety frequently, you may be in a toxic relationship. Hence, your healthy living will be affected.
5. Carelessness in Fulfilling Partner’s Needs: A healthy relationship runs on mutual support and cooperation. A partner takes care of his counterpart’s needs. Therefore, this caring behavior results in a satisfying relationship.
In comparison, in a toxic relationship, you will observe carelessness. Your parent will pay less attention to your needs. They will have no time for you. Most importantly, selfishness and self-care are at their peak. Hence, you can also identify a toxic relationship via this sign.
6. Controlled Behaviors: Controlled behaviors mean a lack of self-care, an independent lifestyle, and interesting habits. In a toxic relationship, you lose interest to perform your habits and activities in your free time. Furthermore, you don’t have time for self-care.
Everything seems to be controlled by your toxic partner. This feeling may be emotional, psychological, or physical. Hence, it results in an uncomfortable life.
7. Jealousy and Mistrust: Jealousy is a natural feeling. However, constant jealousy and mistrust indicate a toxic relationship. In a toxic relationship, your partner doesn’t trust you. They become suspicious about your daily activities. Along with mistrust, your partner develops jealousy due to your success and good performance.
8. Frustration and Resentment: Frustration and resentment destroy a healthy relationship. Continuous tension and frustration in a toxic relationship ruin your charms. Therefore, you can easily notice a toxic relationship via your constant state of frustration.
9. Sense of discomfort and Super Consciousness: A toxic relationship puts you in an uncomfortable zone. You become super conscious of the partner’s activities. It means you lose your own self. You are worried about the problems created by the partner.
10. Sense of inferiority: A toxic partner considers you inferior to themselves and stupid. You face emotional and psychological backlash from the toxic partner. As a result, it may lead to a sense of inferiority. This sense of inferiority is a clear sign you are in a toxic relationship.
How to Fix a Toxic Relationship?
These 10 signs depict you are in a toxic relationship. You face several negative impacts, such as stress, anxiety, poor performance, and depression. Therefore, you need to follow these tips in fixing a toxic relationship. • Have a clear intent to resolve the toxic relationship • Understand your responsibilities regarding the toxic relationship • Commit to changing bad behaviors from your side • Promote mutual love and respect for a healthy relationship • Move out of the past negative thoughts and events. Focus on the present • Develop deep understanding and communication between you and your partner • Start an effective therapy to improve mental health • Consult a life coach to get valuable health tips
GORDON GRIGG – PROFESSIONAL LIFE COACH AND CONSULTANT I am Gordon Grigg – a professional life coach and consultant. I help people come out of their toxic relationships. I understand the importance of a healthy relationship for a sustainable lifestyle. Therefore, I aim to add spark into people’s lives via counseling and coaching to resolve their toxic relationships.
Are you going through a toxic relationship?
Don’t tolerate further stress and frustration.
Let’s have a free consultation to improve your relationship.
According to research, in the current scenario, every 1 out of 13 people suffer from PTSD globally. Now the question arises, what exactly is PTSD? How it is harmful to us? Who suffers from it? And what are the ways to deal with it and come out as a new person and start fresh?
Well, I, Gordon Grigg, am a life coach in Nashville, Tennessee and will be telling you what exactly is PTSD. And also will be telling you about its symptoms, diagnosis, treatments, and other necessary details that may guide you to deal with the post-traumatic disorder that may cause stress in your life.
What is PTSD?
PTSD or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder is a psychiatric disorder or a mental health condition that may occur in people who have witnessed or experienced a traumatic event. These distressing events may include anything such as; a natural disaster, a terrorist act, a war, a serious accident, witnessing a murder, being a rape victim, or having been threatened with death calls or sexual violence. In the past, this condition was recognized by war veterans and was diagnosed as ‘shell shock in the past. But currently, the world is no longer a safe place to live in. Incidents and accidents are quite common these days and can happen in anybody’s life. They can thus turn to trauma, which may leave a deep hard impact on your life that can shake you to the core.
How do you know if you have PTSD?
Majorly all of us have been through a frightening event or a traumatic experience once in our lifetime that might have left a deep emotional effect on us. It is not necessary that directly witnessing or experiencing the incident can cause PTSD, sometimes even only hearing about the same is enough to horrify you or shake you to the core. As time passes, the shock and fear might vanish, but the anxiety, insomnia, and flashbacks of the same may act as the stem of the past trauma. This is thus an indication that the person has a type of mental health disorder that is being diagnosed as PTSD by the doctors. To figure out whether you are suffering from PTSD or not, you should visit the doctor and let them talk to you about the traumatic incident and record your reactions. If your reactions fit the criteria of PTSD made by the American Psychiatric Association, then you should further consult the doctor for proper treatment or visit experienced life coaches like me.
What it is like to have PTSD?
If you are suffering from PTSD, then you might have extremely intense and disturbing feelings and thoughts about the experience or the traumatic event you went through. You might also relive the event through flashbacks and nightmares, and these might result in anger, sadness, fear, or the feeling of detachment and estrangement from the outside world might also come in your mind. As a life coach, I would thus, advise you to stay away from people and avoid such situations that can remind you of that traumatic event. Many people who suffer from PTSD might have temporary difficulty in coping and adjusting to their surroundings. But with time, good self-care, and the right diagnosis from doctors and life coaches, many people around the globe are happily recovering from the same. Thus, I would also advise you to learn about the exact symptoms, treatment, and many other similar aspects that can prove to be of great help.
Symptoms of PTSD
The symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder may start within one month of witnessing the traumatic incident or there may be no symptoms at all until years after the happening of the event. These symptoms may cause hindrances in attending social groups, work situations, and managing relationships. They can also prevent you from performing tasks related to your daily routine. The symptoms of PTSD are generally grouped into four categories which further contain various behaviors and actions. But remember that the intensity of the symptoms may vary over time and from person to person. They are as follows: ● Intrusive memories – These may include; recurrent & unwanted distressing memories, flashbacks, upsetting dreams, and any physical reaction that can remind you of the traumatic event ● Avoidance – When you try to avoid talking and thinking about the traumatic incident and even meeting people or visiting places related to it ● Negative changes in thinking and mood – Many negative thoughts might come into your mind such as; hopelessness about the future, difficulty in maintaining relationships, feeling detached from family, memory problems, etc. ● Changes in physical and emotional reactions – These symptoms include you being easily frightened or startled, always being guarded about danger, self-destructive behavior, trouble sleeping, etc.
If these symptoms occur with you regularly and continue for over a month, and you feel that they are not letting you live and perform in your normal life, then you need to see a doctor or mental health professional. Also, if suicidal thoughts occur in your mind due to past traumatic experiences then immediately talk to your doctor or any immediate person from your family and friend circle that you trust, or share your problems with a life coach like me.
Causes of PTSD
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder can occur by seeing or learning about any unexpected event that can involve injury, accident, actual or threatened death, sexual violence, etc. But according to an experienced research team of doctors, PTSD can be caused due to the complex mix of: ● Stressful experiences ● Inherited medical health issues, such as; anxiety and depression ● Inherited personality and temperament ● The way the brain reacts and releases hormones & chemicals in response to stress ● Experienced trauma in earlier life like child abuse ● Having a job where you are exposed to repeated traumatic events ● Lacking a good support system from your near and dear ones
Treatment of PTSD
You should be well aware of the fact that every person who faces any sort of trauma in their life; does not experience PTSD. And not every patient with PTSD requires psychiatric treatment. Symptoms of PTSD may vanish in some people with time and with the support of their loved ones or life coaches. But some require professional medical treatment to recover from the psychological distress. Remember, PTSD is curable, the earlier the person gets the right treatment, the better the chances of recovery. PTSD can be cured through medication and psychotherapies such as; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR), Prolonged Exposure Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Family Therapy, Group Therapy, and various other alternative and complementary therapies. The medications for PTSD include: ● Antidepressant pills ● Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) such as; Citalopram (Celexa), Paroxetine (Paxil), Fluvoxamine (Luvox), and Fluoxetine (Prozac) ● Tricyclic Antidepressants such as; Isocarboxaid (Doxepin) and Amitriptyline (Elavil) ● Mood stabilizers such as; Lamotrigine (Lamictal) and Divalproex (Depakote) ● Atypical Antipsychotics such as; quetiapine (Seroquel) and aripiprazole (Abilify) ● Some other medications include; Prazosin for nightmares, Clonidine (Catapres) for sleep, and Propranolol (Inderal) for minimizing the formation of traumatic memories
What happens if PTSD remains untreated?
It is seen that if the psychological symptoms of PTSD are not treated on time, then they are likely to get worsen. People might suffer from severe anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, and problem managing anger & aggression. If you suffer from PTSD, then you are likely to suffer from diabetes, obesity, and metabolic syndrome. Epidemiological Studies have researched that patients with PTSD have an increased risk of autoimmune and cardiovascular diseases. It has been also found that excessive stress taken by PTSD patients can lead to systematic inflation. Several pieces of research have also shown that people having PTSD, have increased levels of blood inflation. This can thus affect cognitive function, working memory, attention, executive functions, verbal memory, and learning. According to the latest technology of Neuroimaging, it has been found that people having PTSD have various functional and structural abnormalities in the different regions of the brain that are responsible for controlling cognitive functions. Apart from the psychological and physiological effects of PTSD, it also affects the social life of one who is affected. Untreated PTSD can lead to; social isolation, inability to keep up the job well, difficulty in carrying out daily tasks, aggressive behaviors, financial instabilities, and staining relationships with loved ones.
Conclusion If you are also suffering from PTSD, and want to share something about your traumatic experience then, dear friend, I, Gordon Grigg, a life coach in Nashville Tennessee, can help you in healing from that incident. You can connect with me as I can guide you and help you in a way that your PTSD does not hamper your day-to-day activities. You can trust me as slowly and gradually I can help you relieve from post-traumatic stress disorder, and also tell you ways to leave the baggage of old memories behind and move forward towards living a happy life with your family and loved ones.