Sometimes the depth of the wound is way too deep, especially when people whom we trust the most hurt us, or we become victims of a brutal crime, or get harshly bullied. Only the persons who are going through that excruciating pain can understand how badly their inner world is disrupted. The only medicine, to get out of this is forgiveness.
What is forgiveness?
According to psychologists, forgiveness is a consciously taken deliberate decision that helps you relieve the feelings of vengeance and resentment towards those who have hurt us. They have also explained that forgiving someone does not mean that you deny the seriousness of the insult the person has done to you and it also does not mean forgetting or excusing offenses. Though, the act of forgiving can help you reconcile with the person again and also release them from any legal accountabilities.
Experts also say that forgiveness helps the forgiver to be in the best and positive peace of mind, free from any corrosive anger. Are you wondering if having positive feelings in the heart is necessary to forgive the offender? Well, if not the positive feelings, the act of forgiveness helps the sufferer to let go of deep & harsh negative feelings. Forgiveness also helps you to heal and move forward in life. This is all about what science and psychologists say, but now we will learn what Jesus, our God has preached about forgiveness.
God said that forgiveness has been drowned out in this world of noise. He said, that the world around us is full of all kinds of pain, malice, and hatred. We should learn from God, as in Bible, we must have read, how wrongly people used to talk to him, but every time he kept his calm, forgave them, and kept walking in the Holy Spirit.
In Ephesians 4:31-32, it’s mentioned, ”Get rid of all the bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Some Key reasons why you should forgive the unforgivable
It is difficult for our flesh to grasp forgiveness, thus it has become vital for us humans to draw closer to God. Whenever someone hurts, you should keep in the mind the below-mentioned key reasons as to why you should forgive them.
- Because God forgave you- This is one of the most obvious reasons that we are already aware of. Our lord, Jesus Christ is full of love; he forgives the sins of his children, whenever they sincerely ask for it. In our everyday prayer too, we say, ”Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Not only we should forgive our sinners because God forgives us, but we should do the act of forgiveness because we love him and have promised to live our lives according to his word.
- Because the act of forgiveness frees you from bitterness- To be in peace and to prevent the bitter poison from spreading to your heart, forgiving the person who has hurt us is essential. When you hold grudges against someone and hold back forgiveness, it just opens the door of bitterness, unhappiness, and insecurity, and even barricades the blessings that God wants to shower on you. And if you choose to forgive, then you are leaving the feeling of resentment and anger, and showing faith in him to heal you.
- Because if you will take revenge, it will not be justified in the court of God- If you have felt the sting of betrayal from someone and have been hurt extremely harshly, then it’s obvious that a feeling of revenge can revolve around in your mind. Wanting justice for yourself is quite natural, as most people in the world believe in settling scores. But this is not the will of God. In other words, if you take revenge on someone who has hurt you, then in the court of God, it will not be defined as justice. The power of giving punishment lies in his hands only, as he is the eternal power and the lord.
- Because Jesus showed us the way- Jesus our lord, our father is the greatest forgiver. In Luke 23:34, it is written, ”Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” That means that when Jesus was falsely accused, arrested, tortured, and crucified, he asked forgiveness from God for his sinners. Jesus has a great heart, he forgave his evildoers, so why can’t we humans forgive someone who has mistreated us?
- Because forgiveness is healing to your relationship- It is quite evident, that in our lifetime people around us, say friends, family, spouse, cousins, siblings, and neighbors might do or say such things that could hurt you. That is because no one is perfect in life, everyone is sometimes rude, impolite, mean, selfish, angry, tempted, depressed, or messed up. If we do not forgive their actions, we are likely to hurt ourselves more and grow bitter and resentful towards them. And because of this, our relationship with our loved ones suffers, and if we learn to forgive, the connections tend to heal and grow.
Benefits of granting forgiveness
By granting forgiveness to your wrongdoer, letting go of grudges with him will surely improve your health & peace of mind, along with certain other benefits such as;
- Healthy relationships
- Improved mental health
- Less stress and anxiety
- Lesser symptoms of depression
- Optimum blood pressure
- Strong immune system
- Improved health of the heart
- Improved self-esteem
How to move towards the state of forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It is a practice where you need to have certain guts, to move towards this act of kindness.
- Recognizing the value of forgiveness and how it can change your life.
- Identifying the importance of getting healed and whom you want to forgive.
- Seek help from a counselor if necessary.
- Acknowledging your emotions and the harm caused to them. Recognize how those behaviors and emotions affect you in your daily schedule and work towards reducing the grudges.
- Forgive the person who has offended you and also release the control that the person had in your life.
Forgiveness means different emotions to different people, but it is an intentional decision of letting go of anger and resentment. You can be highly offended by the actions of someone who has hurt you, by forgiving you are keeping yourself in a good mental state and closer to God. Holding grudges against someone is extremely easy, but forgiving is way too difficult. Thus, Gordon Grigg, a business consultant and life coach from Nashville, Tennessee strongly believes that we should live by the teaching of God and if we consider ourselves as God’s own child then forgiveness should be in our nature.